The Boy I Was
by TheHypothesisOfSouls
Summary: "I don't need closure. I don't want to go." "If you go, I'll come too." Gwevin one-shot. T for language (Kevin and his dirty mouth...). REMASTERED


**A/N:** Something went VERY wrong with my last attempt to upload this story. I hope I've fixed it now!

Wow, you do not know how excited I am to post this. This is my first Gwevin fic on this account; I had a Gwevin-based account before but I abandoned it :( I know that I haven't been on in AGES, that I am a TERRIBLE beta and and even WORSE writer, but rhdjsijdnssnd. Yeah. Life is a bit crazy. Anyway, I'm trying to resume this and keep updating. Idek if people read Gwevin fics any more, but... Here you go anyway!

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**Pairing:** Gwevin (Gwen/Kevin)

**Plot:** Gwen takes Kevin back to the place he used to live, in the subway.

**POV:** Steve the Narrator

**Summary:** "I don't need closure. I don't want to go." "If you go, I'll come too." Gwevin one-shot. T for language (Kevin and his dirty mouth...).

**Rating:** T

**Inspiration:** Watching old episodes of Ben 10 :D

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The place was musky and damp. The sound of their approaching footsteps echoed painfully and nostalgically off the rust-colored walls. If bad memories had a smell, then this place reeked of it.

A deserted train track ran to the right. Dirty sheets with spiders crawling over them hung in corners, right where he'd left them. An old wooden box rotting up one side stood in the corner, the size of the tiny TV Kevin used to have in his flat with his mom. Sumo-slammers posters laid ripped and torn on the floor. The raven teenager shuddered.

"I don't..."

His voice came out weak and desperate, like a little kid being told off by the head master. Kevin cleared his throat and tried again.

"I don't think we should be here."

He tried to sound firm but his voice broke at the end, splitting the dam of emotions perfectly in two. He swallowed hard. Gwen watched his gaze bounce off every object, remembering it all, soaking it up too quickly.

"It's fine. You're here, that's half the battle over."

She tried to supply some warm comfort by placing a hand on his back, but feeling her presence and hearing her words in this place was all wrong and mixed up.

He shook his head vigorously; Gwen tried to move closer but he pulled away.

"We shouldn't have come here," he stated breathlessly, moving forward. He picked a poster up off the floor and stared at it for a moment, looking at it without really looking at it. Then his frustration bit a hole right through him and he screwed the poster up and lobbed it over the platform and onto the track.

He balled his hands into fists and pressed them to his sides. Gwen took a weary step forward, trying not to look around too much.

"It's alright, you know. They're just... _things_," she offered.

"But they're not just _things_," he whispered loudly, showing his exasperation. Gwen could feel the air around him tensing.

"I mean, look, Gwen," he continued, his voice a little clearer than before. Said girl moved forward and stood behind him as he crouched down, absorbing the metal from the padlock on the box. It was just enough to cover his hand, so he pulled at it and the rusted lock broke and fell off. He let the metal drain from his hand as he pushed the lid of the box up, resting it on the wall behind.

Gwen inhaled sharply. The box was full of random things - video games, assorted action figures, precious looking jewelry - all of which Kevin had obviously 'acquired' during his time residing there.

He began furiously rooting through the box, his brow furrowed and his jaw clenched. His hand clasped around something and he pulled it out in plain sight for Gwen to see.

"Look at this."

Gwen raised an eyebrow. It was a painted golden clock, the size of an eye, on a silver chain. The hands had stopped at quarter to two. She wondered how long ago it had done so.

"It's a pocket watch. It's a fucking _pocket watch_, Gwen. I don't even know why I wanted it. It's not worth anything, but I just knew that I wanted it. And do you know what I did to get it? Do you know what I did this old guy to get it?"

His face was twisted and his tone pained. Gwen shook her head and stepped forwards, snatching the watch off him.

"No, and I don't want to know," she said quickly. She tossed the watch back into the box and snapped the lid shut with such force that Kevin jumped.

"Look, it's not about what you did, it's about what you're doing," she told him.

He stood up and turned to her, raking a hand through his hair. He opened his mouth to argue, but Gwen cut him short.

"Okay, so it's no secret you're an ex-con. I get it. You've done things you're not proud of. But haven't we all?"

"But this is different though!" he cried. "I mean, come on, what's the worst thing you did as a kid?"

Gwen sighed, flicking hair off her shoulder. "That's irrelevant."

"No, it's not. Come on... I wanna hear it." He crossed his arms and quirked an eyebrow with the last sentence, remaining serious but presenting a challenge. Gwen couldn't resist this one small gesture, and she knew he'd be shocked to hear this, so she answered the question.

"Well... Okay; When I was in 7th Grade I might've used my mana to give a guy that was picking on Ben a beat down, and he might've fallen off the sidewalk and broken his ankle."

Gwen watched as the shock spread across Kevin's face.

"You broke a guy's ankle?"

"He was a complete asshole!" Gwen cried. "He needed someone to show him that he shouldn't mess with the Tennysons, and Ben was such a wimp back about using the Omnitrix then that I decided I'd better take it into my own hands."

Kevin laughed, and it was such a stupidly happy sound in this stupidly horrible place that Gwen couldn't help but grin at it.

"He didn't tell anyone because he was so scared of me after that."

"Wait, so you're telling me I'm the only one who knows?"

Gwen put a finger to his lips.

"You tell anyone, and you'll suffer the same fate. My parents would _slaughter_ me."

Kevin laughed again, and Gwen took her finger off his lips. On impulse, he stepped forward and reached out to stroke her cheek.

Then he remembered where he was, and the haunting memories that came with it.

His hand dropped to his side, and his smile disappeared.

"But that's what I mean though. The worst thing you've ever done is broken someone's ankle, and I've stolen, beaten, injured - I've... I've -"

"Stop," Gwen ordered quickly, catching him just in time.

She could pretend all she liked that she didn't want Kevin to continue because it didn't matter, and that was what she would preach to him. She would never tell him anything other than the fact that she would love him no matter what he'd done, but deep down there was always the gnawing doubt slowly peeling back layers of confidence every time he mentioned his previous life. The fact was that she didn't know the full story of what he had really done when he was only known to her as Kevin Eleven, and she wanted it to stay that way. Maybe she was naive enough to believe that what she didn't know couldn't hurt her, or maybe she didn't want to face up to the possibility that she might not be able to look at him the same way ever again if she did know.

"I'm not like you and Ben, Gwen. I have secrets. I've done things... Things I'll never forget. Things other people will never forget. I can't just slot into society like you can. I've got a whole load of baggage weighing me down."

"Kevin, people don't just 'slot' into society, okay? Everyone's an outsider in their own mind. Everyone has secrets and everyone's different. But in that way we're all similar, and that's what unites us a race. So stop singling yourself out and picking out your faults, because we could do that with anyone. Seriously. Pick a name."

Kevin shook his head, exhaling loudly. His lungs felt like they were ablaze; in fact his whole body was uncomfortably hot and it was spreading through his bones like wildfire.

"But..."

"Look," Gwen said firmly. She put a hand on his shoulder and steered him around to look at the room. "Tell me what you see."

He frowned.

"Uh, I see... my old bed, a box, some sheets..."

"Metaphorically, Kevin."

"Oh." He shifted on his feet. "Okay. Um, I see... Memories. Thoughts that I shouldn't have had. Things I shouldn't have done. A whole room full of stuff that I did wrong."

Gwen slipped a hand into Kevin's, and it was such a soft, casual gesture that it made him tense up. That wildfire became even hotter, engulfing his body with its flames until he thought he was going to burn to the ground.

"Do you want to know what I see?" she asked gently. Kevin swallowed and nodded.

"I see the sad old home of a young boy who was mislead into crime. I see the remnants of a boy who didn't know what he was doing; he went mad with power and it wasn't his fault. The boy couldn't control it and therefore turned to a rougher lifestyle. Yes, I see the home of that boy. But in it, I see the strong, brave, intelligent and mature man that he has grown up to be, who would pick defending the honor of the Plumbers with his best friend and the girl who loves him over crime any day."

Kevin blinked. Gwen squeezed his hand and turned to face him, and as he looked at the way her face was shaped and the way her lips moved and the way her eyebrows arched, the room wasn't as painful to be in any more. She grabbed hold of his other hand and he smiled.

"You know, you have an amazing way of bringing people round to your point," he told her. She untangled her hands from his and wrapped her arms around his waist, still looking up at him. The fire Kevin had felt before was now something much softer and sweeter.

"I'm learning. You're great practice. You really wear out my pep talks and charisma skills."

She grinned. Kevin held her and looked into her eyes.

"Well, I think you're doing just fine. You're the only person who's ever cared enough to give me pep talks and try to help me out like you do, so this intelligent and mature man owes you a lot." He hugged her then, cocooning her in his arms and breathing in her scent like it was the oxygen he needed to survive.

She returned his hug with passion, holding him like she'd never let him go. And yeah, Kevin had done some things that he shouldn't have. That didn't mean that her relationship with him changed because of it. Sometimes she thought the secrets of his past would always weigh heavily on her; other times, like this, she knew they wouldn't. Kevin was Kevin no matter what he'd done, and she loved him recklessly; pathetically; unconditionally.

"And for the record, I'll be defending the honor of the Plumbers - and kicking ass while I'm at it - with my best friend and the girl I love for as long as I can," Kevin said softly as he pulled out of her arms.

Gwen grinned, placing her forehead on his.

"I know. I wouldn't let you get away."

The way their lips felt so perfect on each other's made Kevin realize that this room was full of his demons; things that would always haunt him and memories he'd never forget. But this new memory would now always hang in here too, brightening the dark corners and making him grin. No matter how badly the memories from his past haunted him, he could simply remember the passionate and stupidly happy kiss he'd shared here with Gwen.

And suddenly everything was just that little bit better.

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**A/N: **You like? Please R&R! I wanna know who's still a trooper with the Gwevin fandom :)


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